Icebreakers

The 'Quaker Questions' — When you were growing up...

1. Where did you live? How many brothers and sisters did you have?
2. What kind of transportation did your family use?
3. Who was the person you felt closest to?
4. When did God become more than a word to you?

A more extended list:

1. Who did God use to bring you to the point where you knew you needed Jesus?
2. What is your favorite section of the Bible? Why?
3. Tell us about your first date.
4. What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think about God?
5. Why did you start to attend this church?
6. Who has been the greatest influence on your Christian life and why?
7. What do you want said (and NOT said) at your funeral? (And why?)
8. Choose your favorite relative or best friend? Why do you like them?
9. What is your favorite memory from childhood?
10. What is your position in your family - first, second, etc. What would you have liked to swap about this position?
11. Why do you live where you live? Where would you like to move to? Where would you like to visit?
12. One thing which I do not understand about the opposite sex is...
13. What job do you do? Name three things you like or dislike about it?
14. If I could choose my career over again I would...
15. Who is the most interesting person you have met? or Who do you most admire? or Who do you most respect?
16. Have you ever felt inspired to write poetry, compose a song, draw a picture (or anythign else)? What inspires you?
17. What are three goals you have for the year ahead?
18. When was the last time you did something for the first time?
19. Which of the following restrictions could you best tolerate: leaving the country permanently, or never leaving the state in which you now live? (Why?)
20. At a meal, your friends start belittling a common friend. What do you do?
21. If you could take a pill that would enable you to live until you reach 1000 years, would you do it? Why?
22. If you ran the world, where would your summer and winter castles be?
23. What is your favorite time of day? How do you relax?
24. Of those people you know personally, who do you most admire and why? What about those you don't know personally?
25. What is the greatest compliment you've ever received.
26. Would you like to know the exact date of your death?
27. If you knew that for any one thing you chose to try, you would have everything you needed, all obstacles would be overcome, and you would not fail... what would you do?
28. Which person from the Bible do you most identify with?
29. Suppose you were going to live for a year in Antarctica. All your material needs will be met, but you can only take three items on the boat with you. What would you take?
30. If you became the leader of any country in the world, which would it be and why?
31. If you had a year's wages just to spend on your friends, what would you do with it?
32. What would you want your own family to be like one day?
33. For what are you thankful?
34. What's the wildest party you've ever been to?
35. Share the most meaningful scripture to you and why it is so meaningful?
36. Share about a spiritual experience you have had...
37. What is your favourite song or type of music?

1. What have you learned recently from another person?
2. Share the best and worst experience of your week. What is the one thing you want to accomplish next week?
3. When did you fail at something you really wanted to succeed at?
4. When you do something stupid (give an example??) how much does it bother you to have other people notice it and laugh?
5. If you could change two things about the way you were brought up, what would they be?
6. Who would you call first if you were arrested?
7. What do you value most in a human relationship? In your relationship with Jesus? With your parents?
8. How do you get past barriers to talking with people?
9. How did you and your husband/wife meet and what how did you start going out together - or - what three qualitites would you most want your husband or wife to have?
10. The gift I will never forget (besides getting saved)...
11. What gifts let you help others to grow (in this meeting, or otherwise)?
12. Describe a significant experience in your life that changed your values in a major way.
13. (the 'grab bag' question) What do you think about (1) angels, (2) eternity and (3) authority? (You can vary this endlessly.)
14. Say 3 things you appreciate about your family and 3 ways in which you find them difficult at times.
15. One thing I would really like see happen now in my (choose one) family, church, small group or world?
16. When you were a teenager what did you like or hate most about church?
17. Who's the best teacher you've ever had? (And why?)
18. Have you had an answered prayer recently - share the story.
19. Have you ever experienced supernatural healing? - Share what happened.
20. Amongst your friends and family, what subject is bound to start an argument?
21. What do you think about UFO's and life in outer space?
22. What do you think God likes about you?
23. What's the wierdest dream you've ever had?
24. Have you ever been part of an angry mob? What was it like?
25. How would your life be different if you knew Jesus was returning in six months time?
26. Who is (or was, in the last 200 years) the most inspiring person you can think of?
27. What are you the absolute best at, among your friends, workmates and family?
28. What was the best team or group you ever belonged to? Why was it so good?
29. Would you rather raise your kids in a religious or non-religious society?
30. When you were growing up, what did your parents want you to be? What did you want?
31. What's your immediate reaction when someone on the street asks you for money?
32. Who do you pray for the most? Why them?
33. Did you have heroes when you were young? Which ones ended up being big disappointments?
34. How do you get right with God when you 'blow it'?
35. What's your best story of being late for something important?
36. Who would loan you $500.00, no questions asked?
37. If you could live (choose one) this week, this year, this decade over again what would you do differently?
38. When was the last time you admitted you were wrong? Why is it so hard to do?
39. What is the closest you have ever come to dying? or Have you ever sat with someone who was dying? What was it like? How did you handle your grief?

1. What's been your biggest challenge in the last two years? How well do you think you handled it? What did you do?
2. Why do you get up in the morning?
3. What are the biggest questions that you have about your relationship with God?
4. What is the greatest [ regret / disappointment ] of your life?
5. Who did you (or everyone) most fear or misunderstand in your neighbourhood when you were growing up?
6. The hardest thing I have ever done...
7. The last time something (choose one) stressed me out, got me angry or got me down, was...
8. What is your mission in life, beyond providing for yourself and your family?
9. Who are the three people you love the most?
10. What are the biggest advantages of being (choose one) single or married?
11. What's the wierdest / riskiest / silliest thing you've ever done because you were a Christian? What do you think of it in retrospect?
12. What do you really think about Jesus' crucifixion?
13. In what areas of your life is it most difficult to trust God? Other people? Yourself?
14. What do you think is the worst law in the country? What do you think God feels about it?
15. With only a few days to live, what would you tell your family?
16. Share about a time when you took ages to make a hard decision? In the end, how did you make the choice?
17. What important beliefs have you ever changed your mind about since following Jesus? What was it like?
18. Who is the 'tower of strength' when you have a crisis in your family?
19. Under what circumstances do you feel most lonely? Least lonely? Why?
20. Has this group been a help to you? In what ways has it and hasn't it?

What's the opposite of icebreakers?  Icemakers!  Embarrasment, offence, confusion, disinterest and/or rejection should be the anticipated results of the following icebreakers.

1. If you were asked to make up an icebreaker for this group, what would it be?
2. If God gave you permission to murder someone, who would it be, and what method would you use?  Alternately:  If you could swap your husband/wife for someone else's, who would you choose (and why)?
3. If you were a toothbrush, what kind would you be, and why?  What brand would your wife/husband be?  If single, what brand would your ideal wife/husband be?  (Also try kinds of computer operating systems and garden weeds.)
4. The "Noah's Ark" game (where people make assigned animal sounds in the dark, and thus try to locate their missing "mate").  Alternately:  The 'Spin the Bible' game, to see who you get to greet with a 'holy kiss' (Rom. 16:16).

Adapted from the marvellous 'Top Ten Worst Icebreakers' at smallgroups.com -- well worth a visit.

In the movie "Notting Hill", Anna attends a birthday party, during which six people sit down for a meal. Towards the end of the evening, the host declares,

"I am going to award this brownie as a prize to the saddest act here."

Whereopon, each person tries to top the others in describing their pitifully wretched existence, their professional incompetence, their dreadful personal misfortunes, and their vanished hopes of ever attaining true happiness. It works brilliantly. In what situations would and wouldn't this make a good icebreaker?